Nick & Rose talk home security and cheese

Click here for a cackle.

xtranormal movies

Here's the latest Nick and Rose talk summertime chores. More to come!

been laughing at this for at least 4 years

scavenger wreath

Made of asparagus fern, rosemary + wool from a hostess gift. And a bit of white thread keeping it together.

never forget

Eleven years later, a feeling comes back, fresh as a daisy. It still stings and brings tears.

Here's a piece I wrote for Austin Post

Goth Girl Redux

The crossroads behind me are so countless, they're plaid. Born in Philly, I grew up in a bunch of towns cruelly described as flyover states, and as soon as possible after graduation, I headed west where I called San Francisco home for 15 years. That's the place where I've lived the longest.  I still miss the grit and the crime of San Francisco. Once, here on an Austin sidewalk, I saw a syringe and smiled at the familiar. I felt all warm inside.

I got to thinking about how goth I used to be when an old friend from San Francisco was coming to Austin and she invited me to be a storyteller at Porch Light, San Francisco's longest running storytelling series. The theme for the night was, "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again." I needed something good, something true, and like anyone seeking gloom, I looked to the past.

Flashback to the summer after my freshman year at college. The year was 1986, the city was Syracuse and I was nineteen. At my temp job, I answered phones with "Marcellus Casket Company." I don't even think I tacked on, "may I help you" and that is exactly how goth I was.  

I had hair like Robert Smith, eye makeup like Siouxsie Sioux, and skin built for white powder, red lipstick, and black clothes. I also felt that Bauhaus really understood everything that I was into. So did Joy Division and then New Order. And like goths to a flame (pointed at a clove cigarette) people knew us by the trail of Aqua Net. Our school had a massive cemetery nearby that we often frequented, and any building with a gargoyle on it caught our fond attention.

We were fans of the band Masters of Reality. Their concerts started with a thick black plastic tarp hung like a curtain or barrier to the stage filled with fog machine oil, frankincense and myrrh. While the curtain was still up, the guitars would start all distorted, undeniable and loud, and a smoky backlit shape of a cross would emerge through the tarp. I imagined someone with a box cutter drawing two lines, it was always a crowd-pleaser when someone on stage yanked the curtain down all at once. That was the way to start a show.

We went to lots of concerts like The Church, The Fall, and The Call. We saw them play at an on-campus venue at Syracuse University, and my friend Trish wore a Grecian draped white cotton sheet that she dyed black, so it turned out grey. It was a no alcohol zone so we brought our own, which of course we rationed badly.

At the end of the night, we weaved our undead selves towards the dorm and I realized that Trisha was drunker than I thought. She stopped mid-walk and rooted around her miniscule change purse. She found enough coins to open the newspaper box door, and promptly vomited inside.

I learned more than just where to puke at school, though. Like when covering up holes from music posters, just use toothpaste. It's brilliant. And the Psychedelic Furs lyrics I painted directly onto the wall came right off with a smudge of nail polish remover. Insights included: "Make a wall of your religion" and "You can never win or lose if you don't run the race." The hell was I thinking?

A couple of weeks ago at a party just outside Austin, they played the Masters of Reality song "The Eyes of Texas" and it was so overwhelming that this is my home.  If you're ever in doubt that you're on the right path, wondering if you truly are meant to be somewhere, if you wait for it, a connection will appear.

vacation

"Your whole life's a vacation," my friend Steve once said. I laughed because it's true. I'm about to garnish some fresh tortilla soup that Nick made. He's on vacation too. We keep doing a vacation-o-meter, where you have to name the vacation number you're at, from 1 to 10. If you're low, you gotta change that. Come back when you have a higher number.

We are vacationing at home, we have friends in town and it's superfun. Tomorrow, a rooftop rock show on a lake, with a backdrop of a bigass sunset and a blue moon.

If you ever wonder what there is to appreciate, just look around. If you're alive, then I say that you're living the dream. And if ever you don't feel like you're living the dream, try to see that you're somewhere along the way.

"May the road rise with you." -PiL

What year is this, the one we are in?

The Newcastle beer commercial interrupted a Gordon Ramsay kitchen rerun, it was on cable of a french restaurant housed in Scotland. The scallops on the revised simpler menu were looking delicious and golden brown, potentially worthy of aiming for a Michelin star one day.

I decide whether to get off the sofa during the break in programming and futz with house chores, but was pinned by a fifteen pound schnauzer. That's when the beer commercial came on. The beer was poured from a tap, with a backdrop of wood paneling and caramel-colored lighting, in a presumably social setting.

The beer glass was shaped kind of oval had a stem. The beer was settling in to just the right amount of head when I swear I heard the commercial narrator dude say, "Why are you showing only her hands?" to an off-camera reply of "Because she's not an attractive woman." I got up out of my chair. Beer ads can't hate on grandma. Nobody hates on grandma.

Beer ads are supposed to have a blond woman skiing in a half-shirt and no pants. Today we found out that a woman could go ahead and feel ostracized inside a formerly mens only golf club. Oh, and the entire GOP is against women's health and will vote so this November.

Hey you, get off of my uterus. What is the plural of uterus, anyway? Uterii? And are you hearing the single version: Uteronomy? Why don't we know the plural? I demand to live in a world where we universally understand the plural version of uterus. Just looked it up, it's uteri.

Bring it.

from Waco

Xtranormal new season! Click here "Nick and Rose talk about..."

now more than ever, we need Planned Parenthood

I am humbled and honored to have been asked to participate in a photo/video shoot for Planned Parenthood. My image and/or likeness and my story may appear as part of their fundraising efforts over the next bunch of months. As a longtime donor, I approve their message!

only in Austin

I'm going to ACL Live tonight for Cheap Trick, I'll be in the suites and I'm super happy about this. (!) Chilling at home this afternoon, watching the Olympics, new Absolutely Fabulous, and the 10th anniversary Project Runway with the dog napping upside down. I just checked my phone and it was:


-in my unlocked car
-on top of my wallet
-cooking in the sun

And it was safe. I've done this overnight as well. Please don't google my address. Thanks!
xo
rows

Chef and me

holy balls it is hot

Sending a message to you from a place so hot, I could fry a quail egg on my pendant. It is deep into July in Austin comma Texas and the weather is simply punishing. The first thing I did when I got home from work is take off my silver fox necklace that I wear every day. 

For the entire 12 seconds it took to walk from the car to the carport of our 1959 bungalow, the sun melted the chain of my necklace hot like wax, but thin like floss. One more second and I would have screamed. 

I'm going to have to get into a lot more pools and swimming holes. And then crawl into the freezer for a second.

austinpost.org is good to me

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